Sunday, October 7, 2012

loosing sleep

Not sure what is happening here but Emma has started to be afraid to fall asleep...brings back horrible memories for me from Kindergarten. Not sure what to do-trying to talk through it all with her-she is upset about Halloween, worried she won't fall asleep, having nightmares about the dent schoolhouse, is constantly reminded of it when she sees a billboard, is angry when I'm asleep and she's not so she comes into wake me up-yes, she said that. She cries & cries, ends up in my room and then we both suffer lack of sleep. Matt is traveling 247-he is home for 1 1/2 days then gone for 6 then back for 1, gone on weekends-its not a good place to be right now. Feeling like the mojo here in the house is WAY off. I am loosing my patience. Feeling like when will we ever get a break. She did so well over the summer when she came off the lexapro in beginning of June. No problems at all until 1 week ago.
Where is the balance everyone talks about? I am never in balance....I am beginning to doubt the whole thing.
As a Mom I want to fix this for her-I am going to have to figure something out-its always the Mom, right? We love our kids beyond words and hate to see them suffer in any way. I know logically she needs to try to figure this out herself-but I also know she can't do it alone. I don't want to put her back on Lexapro. Would want to explore another drug for her. But what? I love my girls so much it hurts.

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